We all at some point of time, complain about life.
Often we ask : Why am i so stressed all the time? So many things doesn’t seems to be upto the mark., many things are not the way we expected them to be or the way want things/events/people to turn into.
And lo-n-behold. Somehow we think that we know the exact reason responsible for our all problems. With so ease, we blame our job,spouse,neighbor,children,society, country etc for all our miseries and problem.
Joke: Source Unknown.
One beautiful joke i got one day from a friend , not sure who wrote it originally. Hats off to him/her. It’s not only hilarious, but true also.
Girl: (To God) I’m educated, have good job, independent, self-sufficient. I don’t need a husband. I don’t want to marry, but my parents are asking me to marry.
God: Yes, you have all the abilities and among my finest creation. I have no doubt that you will achieve many great things in life. But something, inevitably will not go the way you want. In fact, many times, they will fail. Whom will you blame ? Yourself?
Girl: No !!
God: Very good. That’s why you need a husband.
Boy: (to God) but then what will i do? Whom will i blame?
God: Son, your scope is much wider.You can blame the govt,the education system,the environment, the economy, the politician,the bureaucrat, the religion, the belief, the customs and even me.. but
NEVER EVER BLAME YOUR WIFE.
You see, we often blame everything around us for the problems we have. Worst, we blame ourselves. Ruin our own self-esteem.
Is blaming going to solve our problem ?
NO. A BIG NO !
Then what to do?
Prepare yourself. Know the truth and face it. Accept the reality of this world, they way things work.
We feel stressed because we expect that others may get trouble, but not us. Others may fail, but somehow we will definitely succeed, miraculously without doing any hardship, every single time we try.
Our expectations are wrong.
Be prepared that inevitably many things in life will go wrong.You just cannot control everything, cannot plan for everything. In spite of this, don’t lose HOPE.
To succeed, to overcome “that” situation, you have only one option. And that is to “TRY once more“.
Try your level best with meticulous plan to solve the situation as much as possible. Nothing will happen automatically. You have to take “the responsibility”.
Unless you do it, things will only slip from bad to worst. Take charge of the situation. Don’t hesitate to initiate action.
Set your expectations right !!
If you set your expectations right and accept the challenges life throws at you, you’ll be at peace with the world,your life and best yourself. Because you know “shit” does happens and you have the courage to face it.
So, does it mean life is just a series of problems and more problems ?
A beautiful quote i remember
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. .. Elbert Hubbard
A story :
Once a frustrated man went upto a mountain to meet a sage. After lots of trouble, ultimately he was able to find the sage, blissfully absorbed in meditation.
The man payed respect and obeisances. With folded hands, humbly he asked
O Great sage, i want to know what is life?
Smiling gently, the sage replied: Life is a beautiful fragrance of jasmine flower beside a pure river flowing in the mountain. Very blissful
The man said: But, i was told life is thorn and i have tried to plan and live life like that.
The sage: You’re life is what you think it is and what you make out of it.
True. Life is beautiful.Just don’t expect it to be the way you want. Accept what may it come, face it, take responsibility to handle it.
OK, now one small exercise
List down 5 things you like, anything. It may be subtle like love,respect,or physical like clothes, jewellery , sensual –> music,aroma. Now add 5 more.
Did you noticed there are so many beautiful things in this world which you “actually want and desire. Isn’t this life does offer you so many wonderful things ?
The problem arises when we want to enjoy them “ourselves only“. When we wish that everything good that exist is for our enjoyment, we only should get them, Other should give me what i want. They should pay me respect, love and admire me, always.
Is that possible?
You got the concept. Understand this practical reality so that next time when you have to face any awkward,undesirable situation, you’re already prepared. You don’t lose your balance by surprises.
Sharing few techniques you may find useful.
TIPS for immediate “situation” management. When stress strikes you
- Take few deep breath.
- Take a side walk for 10 minutes
- Sit outside in open or in a park. Watch flowers or greenery.
TIPS for “General” Stress management
- Physical exercise: Doing physical exercise is one of the best way to eliminate stress. Yoga,gym,swimming, jogging. My favorite is Yoga. Hope someday in future, i will teach Yoga.
2. Meditate: If you know how to meditate, then practice it daily. If you don’t know, here is a simple , but every effective popular way to meditate.
i. Sit in a quite place, with eyes lightly closed.
ii. Now focus all your attention on your breathes. How they are coming and going? Just observe how it feel in nose or upper lip when it goes in & out.
iii. If your mind wanders away on some pleasant or unpleasant thoughts, pull it back to you breathes.
That’s it. Do it regularly.
3. Take a warm bath.
4. Listen to music.
Don’t allow stress to control you. And the key is to actively do something about it. Make a conscious decision to be in charge.